When she got home, Daniel was waiting up for her. “So tell, how did it go?”
Joy sat the glass of wine she had poured herself downstairs on the bedside table. “It was horrible.” She stated as she began to take off her jewelry. “Some of those women made me feel raped all over again; their scrutiny was unbearable.” Joy went into the bathroom, stepped out of her clothing and slipped into her nightgown. After placing her clothes in the hamper, she climbed into bed and took a hearty pull of the wine.
“I’m sorry to hear that; we sort of knew that wasn’t gong to be the best of experiences for you.” Daniel sipped from her wineglass.
“Yeah, but I did leave things well with Deanna, so we may hook up again for lunch. And she gave your Dr. Mayer two thumbs up.”
“Did you really doubt my referring you to Dr. Mayer?” Daniel asked as he took his glasses off to look deeply into Joy’s eyes.
“It’s not like that Daniel. I just mentioned him so she would know I am getting help even though I don’t want to go back to her group. I would never doubt you, Daniel.” Joy slipped from the bed and went to her dressing table the cream the make-up off her face.
She felt Daniel’s arms circle her waist from behind. “Joy, forgive me. I don’t know where that came from. I guess I am feeling a little uncertain in all of this because you have never really confided any of the details in me.”
“Daniel, I don’t think I can bear to tell you those things. I can tell you I was scared for my life. I know now why they call it ‘assault.’ It doesn’t feel like sex; it feels like someone is assaulting you. And the shame, the utter embarrassment of dealing with everyone afterwards, that was nearly as bad as the rape itself. It is especially painful that you know what you know.” Joy said all of the quietly within the strength of Daniel’s arms.
“Joy, I am so sorry you had to go through this, I truly am. It’s okay; I can hear this stuff and separate the details from you. I will continue to love you no matter what you tell me.” He leaned down and kissed the back of her neck as he said this.
She pulled another tissue and wiped her nose. “I am going down for a wine refill. Can I get you anything?”
“No, I’ll just drink from your glass.”
Joy glided down her glorious staircase. She loved her house and was proud of their home. She had come from much humbler means, So having a beautiful home to keep immaculate made her proud.
Once she reached the kitchen, she got a couple of Xanax out of her purse and swallowed them with her freshly poured wine. She had told Daniel some of the painful moments of the rape. It was killing that she would never be able to tell him the most painful part.