Having drained her glass again and not feeling the least bit sleepy, Joy went downstairs, poured more wine, and sat in front of the television. She found her concentration wandering. Was she drinking too much? Was the pill amount normal? Another thing she would have to check with the therapist as she didn’t want to concern Daniel with any of this. He had enough going on with working and his wacked up home situation. She was definitely going to bring Ben home tomorrow and try and get their life back on track. Everyone’s life had been disrupted by the rape and it was up to her to show everyone things were getting back to normal by acting like things were normal. Just then, the lights clicked on.
“Joy? What are you still doing up?” Daniel walked into the den in just his PJ bottoms.
“Daniel, baby. You were fast asleep and I was wide awake so I came down here so I wouldn’t wake you.”
Daniel say on the arm of the chair. “Joy, I’ve told you to wake me when you can’t sleep. How can I help you if you won’t let me?”
“It’s not that I don’t want your help; it’s just that I don’t know what you can do. You have work tomorrow and I don’t want to keep you up all night.”
“What is on your mind keeping you up?”
Joy stood up abruptly and turned off the TV. “Nothing in particular; just have a busy brain tonight.”
Daniel stood and led Joy to the sofa. “What sorts of things are keeping your brain ‘busy’ tonight?”
“Okay. Honestly? I was thinking how our sex life was a bit lacking before the rape and how much the rape is going to hurt things even more.”
“Sex? You, thing about sex? Don’t get me wrong; I love that you are thinking about our sex life. What about it is keeping you up?”
“Before all this happened, I’d been wanting more intimacy with you. I just didn’t know how to bring it up. Having gone through this has shown me that we have to make ourselves happy now and not put it off because it is sensitive or uncomfortable. Were you happy with our love life before? Joy asked quietly, looking downward.
“Joy, baby. This is a serious conversation for the middle of the night. Yes, I wanted more in our sex life, but I didn’t want to push you as you have had such intimacy issues. But once we get past the after effects of the rape, I would love to explore new areas of intimacy with you.” Daniel lifted her chin and put a very soft kiss on her mouth.
Joy’s hands came up on their own volition and rubbed Daniel’s chest. She deepened the kiss, leaving Daniel moaning.
“Christ, Joy. You know we cannot have sex, right?”
“Yeah, I know. I don’t know what came over me. Maybe you shouldn’t walk around without your shirt on. But then again, we don’t have to have actual intercourse to be intimate with each other.” She said quietly as she looked at Daniel fro beneath her eyelashes.
“Holy cow, Joy; you’re blowing my mind. Why don’t we go back upstairs and talk about this.” Daniel took her hand and led her upstairs. They both climbed back in bed.
Joy started feeling awkward, as Daniel leaned into her and kissed her more passionately on the mouth. She tentatively rubbed his chest, and ran her hand up his neck into his hair.
Daniel felt Joy withdrawing, but didn’t know if it was an intimacy issue or related to the rape. “Joy, baby; what are you thinking about?”
“Daniel, I don’t know what I’m doing; I think I missed out on the class in college that taught us all the right moves to make.” Joy tried to laugh it off, but she really felt ill at ease.
“Joy, we don’t have to do this; it’s so soon after the rape. But as far as knowing what to do; you just do what feels good to you and me. The only ‘wrong’ move is one that either of us doesn’t like. And just so you know, I like pretty much everything.” He said with a chuckle.
“How would you feel about us cuddling now?” Joy rushed out.
Daniel starred at Joy a moment. “You don’t have a clue what kind of effect you have on a man, do you?”
“What do you mean?”
“It means, hell yeah, I would love to lie her with you, as long as you are comfortable doing so.”
They snuggles down close to each other. They kissed, tentatively at first, but then the passion came. Daniel’s hands roamed over Joy’s curves, but Joy didn’t know where to start with Daniel. She felt all elbows and knees and didn’t know what to do.
“Daniel, I’m not sure where to go from her and maybe, we could, you know, just lie her and cuddle?”
“Sure, Joy. Whatever you are comfortable doing. There is no rush. I like just holding you and kissing.”
Joy felt such relief at this and she snuggled down against Daniel. She knew she bordered on being a tease right now, But this was all she was capable of giving in this moment.