“I swear, Dr. Mayer. I have a feeling about this trial. Something bad is going to happen and totally screw up every good thing I’ve gotten going since the assault.” Joy paced around Dr. Mayer’s office with pent up nervous energy.
“Do you think this bad feeling stems from the dishonesty you have proceeded with in regards to the rape?”
“Dishonesty? I haven’t been dishonest. Failing to provide one intimate and embarrassing detail that occurred during this rape is not being dishonest about it. I didn’t lie about what he did, I didn’t misidentify the perpetrator, and I didn’t provide faulty DNA material that identified him.” Joy stopped pacing to glare down at the doctor.
“Okay. I guess dishonesty is a strong word. But holding this information back can only hurt you and Daniel in the end.” Dr. Mayer said evenly.
Joy flopped down in her favorite chair and stared at the trees starting to turn with the coming fall. She had been ill-tempered since learning of the impending trial. She had managed to keep up appearances for Ben and Daniel, but it was a strain.
“Daniel and I have just discovered this whole new aspect to out relationship; I just couldn’t bear it if this trial interfered with it.” Joy stared down at her hands. “He thinks it’s great because the scum who did this will get sent away. He’s worried that it has upset me. I am pretty sure he attributes it to nerves and my not wanting to relive the attack.” She crossed her arms across her chest.
“Do you think that some of your anxiety is due to that?” Dr. Mayer stared at her directly.
“Well, I’m certainly not looking forward to going through it blow by blow in front of a courtroom of people, especially Daniel.” Joy rubbed her arms as if she had a chill.
“So then these may be the roots of your unease; having to talk about the aspects of the assault in front of people, in particular Daniel?” Dr. Mayer examined Joy so closely it made her feel ill at ease.
“Well these feelings of unease may have something to do with the ‘sharing and baring’ for an entire courtroom. But I am pretty sure my anxiety is due to what just may come out, and it can destroy my life.” Joy stood again and resumed her pacing.
“You’ve got to get a grip on these feelings; if not they are going to eat you up.” Dr. Mayer stated the obvious.
“Yeah, so what do you suggest I do about it? I promised Daniel I would stop using wine to deal with my stress. But I must say, a big glass of pinot would go down great right now.”
“Well, I have to agree with Daniel; you’re setting yourself up for a nasty habit if you don’t stop now. I’m surprised he’s not concerned about the Xanax.” Dr. Mayer looked at her questionably.
“Daniel does not know I take Xanax, and I am sure not going to tell him now. I need the stress relief.”
“You realize this is yet another area you are not being honest with your husband? I cannot condone such behavior, Joy.”
“You don’t have to condone it. Daniel doesn’t know all that I’m dealing with, but I’m sure if he did he wouldn’t begrudge me prescribed treatment for my anxiety.”
“That just reinforces my belief that you need to come clean with him.” Dr. Mayer tried to catch Joy’s eye as she paced around his office.
“Just not going to happen. But you do know what else is good for stress relief?” Joy stopped pacing and eyed Dr. Mayer.
“What is that, Joy?”