Chapter Fifteen | OM… on Chapter Fifteen Chapter Ten.3 | OMIS… on Chapter Ten.3 Chapter Ten.2 | OMIS… on Chapter Ten.2 Chapter Ten.2 | OMIS… on Chapter Ten.2 Chapter Ten | OMISSI… on Chapter Ten
“I swear, Dr. Mayer. I have a feeling about this trial. Something bad is going to happen and totally screw up every good thing I’ve gotten going since the assault.” Joy paced around Dr. Mayer’s office with pent up nervous energy.
“Do you think this bad feeling stems from the dishonesty you have proceeded with in regards to the rape?”
“Dishonesty? I haven’t been dishonest. Failing to provide one intimate and embarrassing detail that occurred during this rape is not being dishonest about it. I didn’t lie about what he did, I didn’t misidentify the perpetrator, and I didn’t provide faulty DNA material that identified him.” Joy stopped pacing to glare down at the doctor.
“Okay. I guess dishonesty is a strong word. But holding this information back can only hurt you and Daniel in the end.” Dr. Mayer said evenly.
Joy flopped down in her favorite chair and stared at the trees starting to turn with the coming fall. She had been ill-tempered since learning of the impending trial. She had managed to keep up appearances for Ben and Daniel, but it was a strain.
“Daniel and I have just discovered this whole new aspect to out relationship; I just couldn’t bear it if this trial interfered with it.” Joy stared down at her hands. “He thinks it’s great because the scum who did this will get sent away. He’s worried that it has upset me. I am pretty sure he attributes it to nerves and my not wanting to relive the attack.” She crossed her arms across her chest.
“Do you think that some of your anxiety is due to that?” Dr. Mayer stared at her directly.
“Well, I’m certainly not looking forward to going through it blow by blow in front of a courtroom of people, especially Daniel.” Joy rubbed her arms as if she had a chill.
“So then these may be the roots of your unease; having to talk about the aspects of the assault in front of people, in particular Daniel?” Dr. Mayer examined Joy so closely it made her feel ill at ease.
“Well these feelings of unease may have something to do with the ‘sharing and baring’ for an entire courtroom. But I am pretty sure my anxiety is due to what just may come out, and it can destroy my life.” Joy stood again and resumed her pacing.
“You’ve got to get a grip on these feelings; if not they are going to eat you up.” Dr. Mayer stated the obvious.
“Yeah, so what do you suggest I do about it? I promised Daniel I would stop using wine to deal with my stress. But I must say, a big glass of pinot would go down great right now.”
“Well, I have to agree with Daniel; you’re setting yourself up for a nasty habit if you don’t stop now. I’m surprised he’s not concerned about the Xanax.” Dr. Mayer looked at her questionably.
“Daniel does not know I take Xanax, and I am sure not going to tell him now. I need the stress relief.”
“You realize this is yet another area you are not being honest with your husband? I cannot condone such behavior, Joy.”
“You don’t have to condone it. Daniel doesn’t know all that I’m dealing with, but I’m sure if he did he wouldn’t begrudge me prescribed treatment for my anxiety.”
“That just reinforces my belief that you need to come clean with him.” Dr. Mayer tried to catch Joy’s eye as she paced around his office.
“Just not going to happen. But you do know what else is good for stress relief?” Joy stopped pacing and eyed Dr. Mayer.
“What is that, Joy?”
“So Jeremy, what all can Joy expect from this process?” Joy and Daniel sat in Jeremy’s office. It was redolent of a study; low lighting and dark wood.
“Joy is the key witness and will be treated with kid gloves. The ADA assigned to the case is Paul Stevens. He’s good; he’ll get the job done. In a couple of weeks he will meet with Joy and go over the testimony already on record. He may need to consult with Joy as the need arises. As far as the trial goes, Joy will be sequestered until she gives her testimony. But this will be early in the ADA’s case so Joy will be in Steven’s back seat for most of the trial. The same goes for the detective involved. There will be expert testimony for fingerprint analysis, DNA analysis, and so on. Then when Paul has wrapped up his case, the defense attorney will put on their case. Not that he has a valid one, but these guys will throw up just about anything and see what sticks to the wall. Do you have any questions?” Jeremy asked as he leaned back in his leather chair.
“Can he lie?” Joy asked.
“Lie?” Jeremy parroted.
“Yes, can he make up any old story to try and explain why he did it?” Joy asked nervously.
“Well, anything is possible but he can also be brought up on charges of perjury if he does. Is there some aspect that is concerning you?” Jeremy asked, sitting forward in his chair.
“Well he faces prison. He’s had plenty of times to come up with a reason to excuse his behavior, and why shouldn’t he because it is prison or not.” Joy entreated.
“Joy, I know this is nerve-wracking and I cannot imagine being in your place. Just trust in the system; it works almost all of the time.” Jeremy shared a look with Daniel.
“Almost all the time is not reassuring me, Jeremy.” Joy stared down at her hands.
“Joy, I know this is hard,” said Daniel. “Maybe this is something you can explore with Dr. Mayer and he can help with your anxiety.”
“You know how I feel about Dr. Mayer. And there is only so much stress relief anyone can offer in this situation. Jeremy, is there a possibility of a plea arrangement?” Joy looked to Jeremy with a look of determination.
“Joy, this is not a plea case. The prosecution has an open and shut case. He is not going to plea it down because you have cold feet. I’m not trying to be dismissive of your feeling. We all want to do what we can to see you through this process. Hasn’t this doctor gone over some anxiety relieving techniques with you?”
“Yeah, but meditation is only going to help me so much. I don’t think I can possibly be a very compelling witness like this. Joy stated with the determination of a women with her back against a wall.
“I must say, I never thought I would see you in this office again.” Dr. Mayer said to Joy.
“Daniel convinced me that to have gotten so angry with you, I must have unfinished business that needs resolving.” Joy twirled her engagement ring around as she avoided Dr. Mayer’s gaze.
“Does he have any idea what the unfinished business is?”
“Of course he doesn’t know. I told you that I am never telling him about that. Besides, that is not the only issue going on in my life. We were notified of a trial date; it’s less than two months away.” Joy stated as she stared out the window.
“How do you feel about that?”
“Like I would just as soon it never happened; I finally have my life back. But not just back, it’s better. Daniel and I are doing great, Ben is thriving, and life is good. I don’t want to go back to all that ugliness.”
“Well, that is certainly understandable. But don’t you want to see justice done; see your rapist punished?” Dr. Mayer tapped his pen against the chart to try and divert Joy’s attention back to him, rather than out the window.
Joy looked at him. “To be honest, I just don’t care anymore. I know that makes me non-citizen of the month, but it’s how I feel.”
“Joy, there are no ‘wrong’ feelings. What you are saying is normal. Most people don’t want to have to go back and revisit the scene of the crime. But you do need to get through this trial. If you’ll let me, I’ll help you get through it.” Dr. Mayer gave her the heavy stare through his glasses look.
“What is the big deal with me ‘needing’ to get through this trial? Prosecutors make deals with defense attorneys all the time. I just think that is what needs to happen in this case. The rapist will still have to serve some significant time, and on top of that, I don’t have to testify.” Joy stared back at the doctor, her nervousness showing with her shaking hands.
“Is that your main concern; testifying?”
“Yes, the more talking I have to do the more chance of unwanted pieces of information may come to light.” Joy covered her mouth with her hand; this conversation was making her feel highly uneasy.
“Well, Joy. I wouldn’t hold my breath for a plea. The state has a solid case, from what I understand. I can help you deal with all of this. But you need to be prepared that you are not going to like everything I have to say.” Dr. Mayer looked meaningfully at Joy.
“Oh, I am sure I am not going to like everything you have to say. But as long as we stay away from that one issue, we’ll be just fine.” Joy said with determination.
Dr. Mayer Chuckled. “I’ll give it to you; you are one single-minded woman.”
“If that means that I will do anything to protect my family from the ugly truth, then I will have to say that statement is pretty straight on.”